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"I plunge my hand into the bottom of the globe and fish out my paper. 'Tree.' Tree? It's too easy. I learned how to draw a tree in second grade. I reach for another piece of paper. Mr. Freeman shakes his head. 'You have just chose your destiny; you can't change that,"(Page 1) Melinda Sordio, the main character in Laurie Hasle Anderson's novel Speak, must draw a tree to find her lost soul. Melinda thinks that a tree will be easy to draw but as she goes through a whole year have as a freshmen she learns lessons and life but more importantly she learns things about her self. As Melinda attempts to draw a tree she realizes that there is no "right way" to draw a tree but rather her tree drawing must come from her heart.
Throughout the book, Melinda is tormented by her memories and by most of the school students for an incident that occurred over summer vacation at Andy's Evans party. Melinda got drunk and was raped by a boy named Andy. When she calls the cops she ruins the party is ruined, everyone at school hates Melinda. No one knows that Melinda was raped. This tree project assigned to her is a whole year project. The various trees Melinda draws symbolize the stages in her recovery from the rape. They trace her emotional journey from hopelessness to healing.
"I've been painting water colors of trees that have been hit by lightning. I try to paint so they are nearly dead but not totally."(Page 0-1) The first tree Melinda tries to draw is a tree that was hit by lightning. This symbolizes Melinda's feelings at the time. The lightning symbolizes Andy and Melinda is the tree. When struck by the lightning the tree is almost obliterated but it still has some life left in it. The same with Melinda, her mind and spirit are almost obliterated but there is still some hope for life. The lightning further more symbolizes Andy because lightning is violent, sudden and destructive. Same for the rape, it is violent sudden and it is also destructive. Though she doesn't share her emotions and feelings with anyone, drawing her project is like a therapy for her. She expresses her emotions through her drawings.
"I take out a page of notebook paper and a pen and doodle a tree, my second-grade version. Hopeless. I crumple it into a ball and take out another sheet. How hard can it be to put a tree on a piece of paper?" (Page ) Melinda's second attempt at a tree ends up a failure. After trying to draw a simple second-grade tree, she realizes that this is going to be harder that it looks. This tree that Melinda draws is a "giving up tree". This symbolizes a lot in Melinda's journey to inner peace. After the first tree Melinda drew there was hope, but in this drawing, it is like she has given up completely and there is little hope evident. The situation at school is getting worse and everyone is ridiculing Melinda. To make this even worse her parents do nothing but yell at her. Instead of sitting down and asking what is the matter, they keep on yelling at her. They are completely oblivious to what is happening to Melinda. All these things are making Melinda feel this way, all these things are overwhelming Melinda. It looks like she is about to give up completely.
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This tree that she draws also represents the fact that Melinda is not being her self and that she is trying to change her self in order to cover up and forget about the rape. She draws the very simple tree that is without emotion and feeling. This shows something very important. This shows that she wants to forget about the rape and pretend like it never happened. This is evident in her drawing because from trees being hit by lightning to simple effortless trees shows that instead of solving the crisis that is bothering her; she would rather pretend it never happened. The problem with this is that if she just forgets about it then she'll never solve the problem and it will torment her the rest of her life.
"I have already ruined six linoleum blocks. I can see it in my head a strong old oak tree with a wide scarred trunk and thousands of leaves reaching to the sun." (Page 78) Next, Melinda experiments with linoleum to do her tree project. Melinda ends up using six linoleum blocks in order to complete her project. This effort to make her project look right symbolizes her effort to recover from the rape incident. She keeps on trying and trying, and when she fails she tries again. Her effort to forget is directly symbolic of her effort to make a complete tree. The only thing that is missing that it doesn't make it a complete tree is that it doesn't "breath". In Melissa's case, the only thing that is missing from her is her ability to speak. This is what is missing from her to make her complete.
In addition, the linoleum is directly symbolic of the process that she has to go through to recover from the incident that plagues her mind and soul. To make art out of linoleum, it takes a lot of time and it is an extremely hard task, the same with her recovery. Melinda's recovery process will be very difficult (considering that she doesn't have any friends or even family that will help her) and it will take a long time until she has gotten over the incident. Furthermore when you work with linoleum it is very unforgiving for once you mess up that is it, you can't fix it. You must start all over again. The same with Melinda, once she messes up in her recovery she can't go back and fix things. Also, as she is cutting away at the linoleum it is like she is cutting away at her old self because she is recovering. The cutting away from the linoleum symbolizes how she is cutting away and recuperating from the rape.
"A sound explodes from me. 'NNNOOO!!!" (Page 14) At this point Melissa is trapped in her closet, the place that has always kept her safe, with Andy Evans. Once again she is about to be attacked. The only thing that could save her now is her voice. As soon as she tries to scream nothing comes out. Then when Andy starts to get more aggressive Melinda screams as loud as she can. She then smashes the mirror with her turkey bone sculpture. The mirror shatters and subsequently Melinda reaches and picks up a triangular piece of glass and points it at Andy's throat. Andy backs off and the lacrosse team comes to the rescue Melinda. This gives back Melinda's ability to communicate and to speak with others. As a result of this Melinda's reputation with others changes. The people at school now think differently about Melinda and that it wasn't her fault at the party.
"I slam it against Maya's poster. I hear a crunch." In this scene Melinda has managed to recover from the incident. In this scene Melinda smashes here mirror with her poster on it. This small scene actually symbolizes a lot. The act of breaking the mirror represents Melinda freeing her-self from her old-self. In other words Melinda has liberated her-self from the quiet, and scared person she used to be and now she is able to do everything she used to do before the rape. Also the reason Melinda put up the poster of Maya was because she was afraid and scared to look in the mirror to see her self, so she put up Maya in place of the mirror. Maya was some one that Melinda dreamed of becoming. But when she smashed the mirror it was like she wasn't afraid to accept who she was and she got the courage back that she lost since the rape.
Once Melinda repossessed her ability to speak, attempts one last time to draw her tree. This time she gets her tree to be alive and the more importantly breathe. "My tree is definitely breathing; little shallow breaths like it just shot up through the ground this morning." When Melinda said this it was like she was talking about herself because her soul is like that tree she drew, it just started to breath. Also her tree is like no other that she's drew before. This tree is a tree that has both brown and green leaves; it is a thin tree with skinny branches. This tree she drew is metaphorical for her personality and charter in many aspects. First the green and brown leaves symbolize her emotions. Her emotions are half dead and half alive because in one sense apart of her has died due to the rape but in another sense she recovered from the rape and is now exploring a new life once again.
All in all, this entire incident was both a lose and a gain for Melinda. Through out her whole year of school Melinda learns a lot about her self and all these lessons she has acquired will help her deal with problems in the future and the incident she has experienced will most likely not happen again.
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