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Dancing The Supersport!
Good evening chairperson, judges, ladies and gentlemen. I am sure you are all aware of the fact that today's society is becoming increasingly aware of what is considered politically correct, and of the different groups of people who fall victim to discrimination. Unfortunately, one Australian stereotype that has not yet been declared politically incorrect is also the most ridiculous and insulting stereotype ever. The absurd belief, to which I am referring to, is that male dancers are effeminate.
The suggestion that male dancers are effeminate, and the fact that the majority of younger people in today's supposedly "modern" society would believe such a statement, is not so much an insult to male dancers, as it is to our entire community's ideologies. Such an idea is not only ignorant, and poorly grounded; it fails to conform with our country's ideals of equality and acceptance. No man should be made to feel ashamed about the fact that he dances. Anyone who is physically and mentally able to participate in a sport as rigorous and intellectually challenging as dancing deserves nothing but praise!
In this speech, I will compare the sport of dancing with one of Australia's most beloved pastimes, football; and in doing so, will demonstrate on three different levels that dancing is a far more masculine sport.
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In order to prove physical masculinity, men are expected to resist pain and endure injuries. Now, if football really is the more masculine sport, why is that we see images of whimpering men with torn hamstrings in the middle of a footy field on the local news, and why is it that footballer's injuries make headlines? I've never seen a dancer's broken ankle make the front page, and if a dancer did injure himself on stage, he would simply have to keep performing to the best of his ability until an understudy could replace him subtly. He would not dramatise the incident for a bit of media attention, as a footballer would.
On a scientific level, three main elements must be met for an athlete to be considered truly fit. These are, flexibility, endurance and strength. Unlike most other sports, dancing incorporates all three of these elements equally, and as a result, is one of the most physically demanding and severe sports in the world. Football, however, focuses next to solely on strength, and due to their lack of flexibility, many football players develop muscle and joint injuries, and because they are able to 'sub-off' the field, footballers do not possess the great endurance of a dancer, who may have to perform for up to two hours straight. The irony of this predicament is that in order to overcome their lack of flexibility and endurance, many professional football coaches encourage their players to undertake dance classes.
Finally, and probably most significantly, it must be acknowledged that the very nature of football suggests that its players are homosexually inclined. Sweaty men jumping on top of each other, showering together, and in 'special' circumstances, "hopwating" each other is definitely not macho. I don't think I even need to make suggestion as to what happens in the changing rooms. A more masculine sport would be one involving both males and females, requiring participants to interact with each other, and each other's bodies in order to win. Such a sport is dancing.
To conclude, I would like to draw a comparison between the two sports, just to prove beyond any reasonable doubt that dancing is undeniably more masculine than football
He was exhausted, but continued to dance. He knew that if for one fleeting second he showed the pain that was hammering through his limbs, the other couple would win. He spun her once, twice, before snapping her body against his. She was exhausted too; he could feel the sweat on her thigh and her heart beating against his chest. Suddenly he bent her back at a most awkward angle until all he could see were her breasts and stomach. He snapped her body against his one final time and they embraced. The music ended, he knew they had won.
And yet for some strange, and rather brainless reason, the majority of Australian's find this next scenario to be more macho.
He was exhausted, but continued to run. He knew that if he gave into the pain, the other team would win. He dove for the line and grounded the ball in the try area. He had won the game for his team! He was contented, but the glory he was seeking from this triumphant moment was yet to come, and then it happened; all twelve of the other sweaty men in his team ran over, touched him, hugged him…He was in heaven!
This may seem like a comical characterisation of football, however the scenario does carry with it a very serious undertone. I have proven that physically, scientifically, and most definitely sexually, dancing is far more masculine than football. So why is it that male dancers have been labelled homosexuals? The truth is that men don't find dancing to be as simple as running around a football field, or kicking a soccer ball into a goal, and to hide their own incompetencies, ridicule the men who are brave enough to attempt the arduous sport of dance. I say, GROW UP! And see dancing for what it is a truly intense, and masculine sport!
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