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in our day I turned in my application to the sherman oaks castle park in sherman oaks off the 101 on sepulveda. I first acquired the application on Friday when I drove out there. You see I discovered this particular place was hiring because I looked at the job openings listing in the glendale college something or other office. I happened across this one which is titled the assistant park maintenace assistant or something like that and another one as a server at a mexican restaurant on glenoaks called casa de ramos I think. well im sure you already know how I feel about working in restaurants. I am fuckin sick of it. So I went out of my way to go to that sherman oaks castle park like I was telling you. Well… like I was saying, everything was going smoothly. I filled out the application on Friday, today is Wednesday, january , 00 like the stupid auto correction piece of shit software told me it was, and I decided that I would hold off on dating the stupid fuckin application. So… I get to the sherman oaks castle park just fine, maybe sometime around three thirty and I take the keys out of the ignition then realize I have to date the application. So I took the pen out of my pocket where it almost always is, it isnt in there if im writing with it or if im sleeping or if I forgot to put it in my pocket, and I date the stupid mother fucking piece of shit. So I get out and take the application to some mother fucker that doesn't even work at the park. as I hand it to him I ask him… you guys are hiring right? And the dude says well… I don't know… maybe the los angeles county park and recreational some mother fuckin beuarocrazy or some mother fuckin organization that fronts some do-goody mother fuckin shit but theyre really a bunch of drug dealing cannibal prostitutes. Yeah well aside from the obvious… so im like… ok great… thanks a lot… then I walk around the arcade cause you see, this place when you first drive into the parking lot theres a batting cage to the right and then there some ugly ass looking, fake bridge looking sidewalk deal that makes you think youre crossing some impassable moat but its really just some elaborate drug channeling water fountain arrangement that fronts as a miniature golf course… I swear these fucking entreprenuers are fuckin brilliant, they can make fuckin baby eating cannibalism look legitimate as long as theyre wearing a burgandy polo with a mother fuckin pin that says yeah mother fucker, my name is fuckin blahblahblah and I work at fuckin the amusing parts of your asshole. Then when you get across that fuckin moving cesspool of eroding golfballs and human waste you actually enter this castle… right there when I first walked in there was this dude with a green hat some fuckin high and tight white booty shorts, sandles over socks, and a grey tank top playing this drumming game or some shit. He looks like a fuckin genius but it's the fuckin tanktop that burned him down… so hes banging away at this machine with these drumsticks attached to the arcadebox with some chains and one stick is way shorter than the other maybe like three inches shorter and hes hittin this thing and his friends all excited and it looks like hes doin pretty fuckin good… so I walk right up behind him and watch him and as soon as I stop my stride… he loses… oh well fuck him. So its this arcade right through the front door then straight maybe about fifty feet from the fuckin royal gates theres the ticket prize counter… now today there there was some dude with a hat and some button up dark grey work shirt fucking a box or something… hes the one I handed my papers to so yeah… I feel pretty good cause I got that one application out of the way and I decide that im going to play some games since im here anyways and I don't really have anything to do. So im walkin around and I see ms pac man and im fuckin stoked and have a hard on… people look at my crotch but im like hell yeah bitch its fuckin ms pac man mother fucker oh yeah mmm yeah… I walk up to the fuckin machine and it says… TOKENS ONLY mother fucker… fuckin tokens only what a fuckin shithole of an arcade… fuckin twats… so I say ok fuck it ill just go home and masturbate. So I walk back to my truck eyeing some fuckin fat ass broads backside so I put my hands in my pockets to give my groin an enhancement to go along with the visuals… I put my hands in and rub slowly… then I notice something… ahh shit dropped my keys in the arcade… I half turn then say wait… oh mother fucker I left them in the truck piece of shit! So look in the window and sure as a crack smoking prostitute on main st in san diego near the 5 over pass next to the navy base where that gas station is there they fuckin are… right there on the mother fuckin grey pleather seats. SON OF A BITCH!! So im getting all hot and pissed off and im walkin back into that shithole of a depressing happy fun land. I walk up to that ticket prize exchange counter thing and theres that guy fuckin the box on the ground still… then some tall buck toothed spikey haired retard of a jason timberlake lookin dyke walks up to the counter and gawks at me. I tell him, hey you got a wire hangar or some sturdy wire… hes like what the fuck? We don't have those as ticket prizes oh shit wait why would he want to need that? So he asks me, what do you need that for? I locked my keys in my car and I need to jimmy the door… so right in the middle of car he says oh I cant help you there… so im like ok fuck you asshole you fuckin piece of shit, fuck you… thanks… so I walk out to the batting cage area and theres this dude kickin balls back into the ball return for the pitching machine hes says someshit to me that sounded like, you want go hit there? I was thinking what the fuck did you just say to me?! No Im wondering if you have a coat hangar or some kind of thin metal thing that I could use to jimmy my car open… hes like, do you have AAA or some cash there are some pay phones over there if you want you can call them up and they can help you out… do you know where security is right now? Dude… security doesn't come until five oclock… I was thinking it was some time around fifteen til four. Or someshit like that… so I start walkin I guess east on sepulveda towards ventura. Theres this dude right outside the parking lot that's workin on his car or tying down his front license plate and bumper or something… he smells kinda fucked up. Hey man… do you have a hanger? What?.. I don't… do you have a hangar, a coat hangar. I sorry I don't unerdstan… great hes a fuckin dumb ass… just my luck… so I set out towards ventura… im passing by all these fuckin things like fences and telephone poles… there! All metal wires all over the fuckin place… now all I need are some fuckin wire cutters or lock cutters… yeah… thatll come by just walkin around. So I walk and walk on and on passing by all these cars and im lookin at the antennaes like… damn… that would be perfect. I just need to unscew one and I can fuckin go home… nah… I shouldn't do that… I don't even know the people that own the cars… they've never done me any wrong… why should I fuck up their shit and I don't harbor any ill feelings towards them except that they have theyre fuckin car keys right in their pocket right next to their cocks or their muffs… anyways… so I just walk and walk and at first I had no idea where I was then I see Ventura… damn… Im way the fuckin hell out here? On the corner was the fuckin galleria… im thinkin… fuckin great… what the fuck am I gonna do… so im rounding the corner of sepulveda and ventura around the oh so pretty water fountain that's surrounded by stairs in front of the gay-leria and im lookin at all the people sitting there eating their late lunches or early dinners just sitting there lookin at me walk around the corner… then I say fuck it if I cant solve this problem right now im gonna have a look around… so im walkin around and im thinkin god damn… all these people look fuckin stuck up and rich… jesus… look at that ass… mmm looks scrum diddly fucktacular. So I see these escalators that go up… so I go up… theres a theater there… that's it… shit… ill go up somemore… ok great. Its just the next floor of the fuckin theater… wonderful. So I go back down and see some bathrooms… maybe I can find a wire hangar or a slim jim in the bathroom… yeah that's exactly whatll happen… heh… bullshit… it's a fuckin pristine bathroom that has never ever been used before… the fuckin urinals still had plastic on them like those crazy lookin dining chairs… the ones with the crazy fabric on them now but it used to be like red velvet or something not as luxurious as that. All right… there isnt shit there… so I walk around the mall some more… hey that chicks cute… yeah theres some ass right there… next thing you know im walkin into the parking structure trailing behind some japanese chicks and this black guy standing there laughing and jokin and carrying on with them really briefly while they walk passed and the girls are all giggling for a split second really authentic then in a flash theyre fuckin deadpan like they just walked out of a funeral parlor where the corpse was accidentall knocked out of the casket by the nieces and nephews… hangin half way out of the casket all stiff and plastic looking while the flower wreaths are tumbling over from the survived trying to right the dead body… so I walk into the parking lot like… yeah… let me get up in my hoopty ride with a bunch of fine ass bitches yo… and I walk out through the car exit with the mechanical arm and the toll ladies or the old toll man that looks like the bridge troll from the three goats or whatever fuckin fairytale/fable that was. I walk out and thinkin… great I just totally lost my fuckin bearings right there… so I look to my left… it's a freeway… im thinking that it's the 101… so I walk right… sure enough right there… the first cross street is sepulveda… great… im NOT in a timewarp… then I head out back east… I end up passing the fuckin castle again… and over the sad looking concrete bedded la river… looks more like the square tunnel back in san diego… just a fuckin huge ass sewage drain… I walk way out east… passing the firestation… I look through the front door of the fire station from the sidewalk… ahh I cant see shit… I wonder if these guys that saves peoples fuckin lives will help me out… and I come to the conclusion that I just don't want to be disappointed since joeys gonna be a fireman… I just keep my stride… I forgot to mention… back before I passed the casshole just as I walked out of the fuckin galleria parking structure I was look at those car antennas again… then theres some old ford explorer or some fuckin shit an old trail blazer and I give the antenna a twist while in the middle of walking… oh shit… it fuckin moved… I look through the windshield of the car right behind it and theres a fuckin dude in the driver seat with fuckin binoculars… I could hardly see him cause the windows were tinted pretty dark… but im like what the fuckin is that… is he some kind of undercover cop or someshit? Maybe hes some freelance detective trying to get the scoop on some heartbroken bitch's ex boyfriend or husband and shes trying to get the evidence to get a divorce and hopefully come out with more than just fifty percent of all the shit that he owns and the shit the she owns that he bought for her. Oh well... im thinkin its just a good thing that that fucker wasn't a fuckin narc whos job is to get the spring on people with the good fortune to lock their god damn keys right in their truck right in front of the fuckin place that theyre lookin to work in and arent even fuckin hired yet. So im walkin on and shit… and I pass by some fuckin
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